ecoEnquirer Home

1. Weather Wars and Area 51

2. Levitating Islands Captured by Spy Satellite

3. Court Orders Fisherman to Apologize to Eagle

4. Did Bush Jets Influence Hurricane Katrina?

5. NASA Satellite Observes Massive Vegetation Die-Off

6. Dolphins Fleeing Warming Tropical Waters

7. Vatican Sued Over Katrina

8. Pristine Alaskan Glacier Turns Into Tropical Wasteland

9. More Polar Bears Suffering Heat Exhaustion

10. Antarctic Ice Increasing AND Decreasing

Breaking News: Tenth Bali Global Warming Conference Ends with Historic Agreement

Bali Global Warming Conference: 2027

The tenth global warming conference in Bali (Bali-X) concluded today with a new agreement to negotiate a roadmap for future talks on eventually reducing greenhouse gas emissions. United Nations delegates hailed the agreement as an historic step to prevent future global warming.

(Bali - Dec. 18, 2027) Twenty years after the first Bali global warming conference, delegates from around the world attending the tenth Bali conference (Bali-X) today put the finishing touches on a new agreement to negotiate future reductions in manmade greenhouse gas emissions. According to all UN-certified scientists, those emissions are predicted to once again cause global warming, just as was experienced thirty years ago.

The United Nations Earth Czar, Al Gore, hailed the Bali-X agreement as a critical step in global efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions. "Today, we have continued the long tradition of cooperation that has maintained agreements enabling negotiations which provide a basis for future talks", announced His Excellency. "We have renewed hope that the difficult, but historic, scientific consensus that was reached almost twenty years ago will not have been in vain."

As in previous years, the U.N. conference was the target of some criticism for neglecting mounting scientific evidence that climate change is a largely natural phenomenon. A minority of non-UN-certified climate scientists once again pointed to global temperatures that have continued their slow decline for the past thirty years. All of these comments were made anonymously due to their illegality under anti-green hate speech laws.

"Yes, global temperatures have fallen", admitted Mr. Gore in private, "but as we all know, this spurious cooling trend will suddenly change to rapid warming…possibly as early as next month. I am told by our UN scientists that we now have less than ten years to avert a global inferno of cataclysmic proportions."

Once again, the Canadian delegation expressed some concern that the world's cooling trend might not end soon enough. Pointing to the ice sheet in northern Canada that has now survived through thirteen summers without melting, the Canadians warned that some towns in the far north might have to be abandoned as the ice sheet continues its expansion southward.

Particularly hard hit by the advancing ice sheet have been the women and children of environmentalist families that poured into the Northwest Territories from the United States during the Great Green Exodus of 2008. The encroaching mass of ice has already destroyed the coastal resorts that were prematurely built on the shores of the Arctic Ocean in anticipation of warming temperatures.

Frequently the target of the anti-green fringe, Mr. Gore once again was the subject of some criticism for his carbon offset business, the value of which now exceeds $2 trillion.

Gore's acquisition of Google Inc. to form Google Green back in 2014 is still lamented by some internet purists. Google Green advertisements continue to dominate websites around the world with the familiar Google Green logo. Anti-green demonstrators were sometimes heard outside the conference center chanting "Bring Back Coke", an obvious reference to Mr. Gore's central role in coordinating the international ban on carbonated drinks in 2016.

Marring the Bali conference for the first time this year were thousands of arrests for alleged anti-green hate speech crimes. Many conference observers expected this as the inevitable result of last year's U.N. Global Court ruling that classified anti-green rhetoric in public as a hate crime.

Despite the usual rough spots like those experienced at previous global warming conferences, most delegates expressed optimism that the new agreement reached at Bali-X would eventually lead to large reductions in carbon dioxide emissions.

As Mr. Gore boarded Green-1, the high efficiency Boeing 797 hybrid jet (sporting a smaller version of the standard heated swimming pool), he stated "We owe it to our children and grandchildren to pass on to them an Earth free from human interference. Today we have taken a giant first step in that direction."

Breaking News: Tenth Bali Global Warming Conference Ends with Historic Agreement

ecoEnquirer home

enter ZIP code -or- City, State